..there is ALWAYS someone in a worse predicament.

I had a little wake up call today when I got to work..that made me step back and re-evaluate my life and the troubles I’ve went through.

When I got to work, my co-worker told me that the manager’s boyfriend beat the living daylights out of her and she was at the hospital with broken bones in her face and that she is going to need surgery. I was like WOW!!! I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and how lucky I was even with what I’m going thru. I just started thanking God for what I DO have, and one thing I used to have..a husband that might’ve had some things that needed adjusting (don’t we all)…but he loved me, made me laugh almost everyday, never cheated on me, and he NEVER hit me. I hope to find another like him someday.

The things this ‘happening’ got me thinking about thatI have are ~

A job - may be part-time, but at least I have one.

Running - still amazes me to say that. Cool though. Some people can’t

Somewhere to live - might be cramped, but at least there is electricity (for my fan I can’t live without), a bed, and warmth. Oh and can’t forget about a  shower. Whew!

A car - although if the car didn’t work, I could probably RUN to work

A son - who loves me. May not listen to what I say, but I don’t know what I’d do without him. He helped me emotionally get through this last year. Some people don’t have, want, or can conceive children. To me that is sad. I hope to maaaybe have one more

A family - that’s a nice one. I don’t have ‘friends’, but I got family.

Health - some people are overweight, have cancer, and other diseases

I’m sure there are more examples, but I’m really sleepy.

Bottomline is…when you think you have it bad..there is always someone in a worse situation than you

I don’t mind rainy days…as long as I’m inside

They are the days where it would be better if they were on a non-working day…like a Sunday and ya have a fireplace. I hope my house (the one I might have one day…whether I rent it or own it. LOL) has one. Then you can build a fire, snuggle up under a blanket, and watch a movie with a cup of Bailey’s and coffee.

This is what I think of to keep my mind off of other things. To hold back the worry. Thoughts like these snuff it out!! I have quite a picturesque imagination

Knee was a little sore towards the last mile, but it held up this time

Workout:

• Type: Run
• Date: 11/03/2008
• Time: 17:30:00
• Total Time: 00:38:14.00
• Distance: 3.6 miles
• Average Pace: 10:37.17/mile

This is my dedication run. I was supposed to be up to this amount of mileage anyway in my training for the Vegas Marathon. We’ll see how things go.

Gonna shoot for another 3 miler tonite. Don’t wanna push it, but I’m trying to go back the the training I originally had when I started running. I ran almost EVERY day and increased mileage either daily or weekly without injury.

I woke up this morning KNOWING I wanted to run. Couldn’t muster myself in the morning, but got some well needed extra sleep. That was induced by an eventfully fun Friday, which was some well neeed stress was released as well.  Meaning I was 3 “ice cold beverages” past my usual limit of 2, getting to sleep sometime around 3:15AM, and then having to work from 10am-6pm. Hence the needing of extra sleep. I’ll have to do it again sometime. Minus the going to bed at 3:15AM and having to work the next day LOL

Anywayzz…I was at Walmart tonite and happened to walk by the isle with foot stuff. My eye caught the insert for your shoes that is for knee support. It was the whole insert though, and I already have inserts for arch support. When I was looking at the package it was really only supporting the heel. So I just got the Dr. Schols (however you spell it) massaging gel heels inserts. OMGosh, these things are amazing! When I headed out on my run and all through it..it was like running on air. They are great! And no knee pain at all.

During my run, I only looked at my watch once..it was to tell my son (who once again went scootering with me and couln’t keep up *sigh*) that we were at 1.2 and I was going to go a couple more lights up and flip back. I happened to sneak a peak at my pace and it was 10:07.

The entire run I only focused on running and having FUN doing it..no TIME, no DISTANCE (although I did want to go 3.1 atleast, but I wasn’t going to push it if my body said NO), and no PACE. When I got back to the house, I turned off my GPS and walked about a block or so before checking my summary. When I did, I seen I did 3.4 which I thought was pretty good, and my average pace was 9:34. I said out loud YES!!!! When I got back from the run…I was wired the rest of the night..LOL.

I just proved to myself I can run and have FUN and not worry about TIME, DISTANCE, or PACE, and still accomplish ALL THREE!

Workout:

• Type: Run
• Date: 11/02/2008
• Time: 18:30:00
• Total Time: 00:33:08.00
• Distance: 3.46 miles
• Average Pace: 9:34.16/mile

If it’s not your family that’s stressing you out, it’s your job. If it’s not your job, it’s your mortgage. If it’s not your mortgage, it’s your schedule. If it’s not your schedule, it’s the economy. If it’s not the economy, it’s your family. Wait, didn’t we start there?

This is the subject of my church for the next 4 weeks. Man, could it be anymore appropriate for me right now. I normally go to the 12:30 service on Sundays cuz I run in the morning.

I’ve been going to this church off and on since 2001. It was one of the only churches my husband felt comfortable at. He came from the club scene singing AC/DC and what not. This church is one of the ‘modern’ day churches. Catering to what they call the ‘normal’. NORMAL is the majority, which is the people who don’t go to church or don’t feel comfortable going to church because they feel they are going to be judged like at some other church they went to. It’s a very casual enviornment. During the summer we wear tank tops and flip flops..its awesome.

http://www.eastlakechurch.com/im-new/what-to-expect/

Don’t really know why I’m posting this, but just felt it necessary..whether it be something I need to get out or someone else needed to hear.

I suddenly woke up at 5:00AM with this picture in my head. [Of course, I put the reminder to make a post in my phone and went back to sleep ;-)] This is how I feel about my running right now. I’m not into mythology, but this bird is a symbol of being renewed.

Yesterday was an interesting day for me..to say the very least.

First, I was talking to my Dad via chat and find out that GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) runs in my family.  Wow does this explain a lot about me..LOL. Him and my grandma regulate it with medication. He sent me the following link to read up on the symptoms (http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/generalized-anxiety-disorder). OMGosh! I have so many of them. I just realized that I’m freaking out, and do everything possible to stop it. After hearing this I thought..great I got another acronym..LOL So far I’ve got OA, RA, ADHD, and now GAD. Could this soon become a new song. If I have GAD and have gone through everything over this past year..HOLY CRAP it is ONLY by the grace of God I’m still SANE!

Second, I decided to join this new small group at church called “Money Study”. Its a way to learn in depth about God’s will when it comes to our own spending and His principles when it comes to money. I already tithe, but this show you how to budget and manage money as well. Anyway, it was the first night and we had to introduce ourselves, share a tad about our financial situation, and what we expect to get out of the class. I got out..my name is Darla Banaga and……..I lost it!!! OMGosh! I hated it! After holding my breath and staring at the ceiling for about a minute to get myself to stop the tears from falling.. I spit out that I lost my husband a year ago Sept 18th and that I was there to learn to save money for my son and I to get a place of our own. This was so unusual for me and proved I had a lot of stuff pent up that is going on that I haven’t let out!

Third, and best!

At about 11:00pm, I checked my Sweat365 blog and found 2 very inspiring comments. One reminding me of the awesome time I had training for the Nike+ 10K (my first official race) and the total HIGH I had after fininshing!

And the other reminding me that I have ‘virtual’ friends too. Even though I was supposed to meet up with her at the Nike+ 10k and the Long Beach Half, but I will be seeing you at the San Diego Rock-n-Roll 2009 Marathon

As said in my last post I HAVE and will continue to ‘TRIUMPH in the face of adversity’

DREAM IT! PURSUE IT! STICK WITH IT! LIVE IT!

I’m so utterly confused and frustrated. According to this workout… I’m obviously not physically up to completing Vegas.  I got out 2.1 miles and had to turn around and walk back. I had pretty much made the decision that I couldn’t do Vegas financially since I’m only part-time employed and haven’t found a full time job yet AND have bills to pay. So the money I have saved up must be used to be a parent and support my son, but I thought there MIGHT be the chance if I was physically able to do it, I could borrow the money. Realizing that I can not do Vegas honestly is right up there with 9/18/07 and having to choose to quit my job. It is an emotional challenge for me to get over right now.

I’m trying not to be hard on myself, but this is just chalked on the list of freaking WONDERFUL things that have happened over the past year, BUT I have to believe in both of my mottos.

Life motto - EVERYTHING happens for a reason

RUNNING motto - DREAM IT! PURSUE IT! STICK WITH IT! LIVE IT!

I will be back for Vegas next year when it will be called the Las Vegas Rock-n-Roll Marathon, but as for now my new goal will be the San Diego Rock-n-Roll Marathon.

I HAVE and will continue to ‘TRIUMPH in the face of adversity’!!

Workout:

• Type: Run
• Date: 10/26/2008
• Time: 09:00:00
• Total Time: 1:01:00.00
• Distance: 4 miles
• Average Pace: 15:16.03/mile

My running goal for this year is COMPLETING Vegas. I have been through injury after injury trying to prepare for this race. All of them from major inexperience in training. Either fortunately or unfortunately I have figured it out. Last nights run was actually FUN to me. I still found myself getting mad at the time though. Which I had to justify to myself by my body telling me..”my pace was slow cuz you walked 4-5 times. As long as you listen to me I will pull you thru the rest of your training and the marathon. Just LISTEN to ME!”

I’ve had my own little issues of life going on too. Having to quit my job, finding a new one..only to have my new boss tell me her business is slow and she has to cut me to PT. Now I’m looking for a new job, but just like with this job ‘God will provide’ (hopefully quickly..wink wink)

The cool thing though is running lets me escape this world for a little while. When I run I seriously go to another world. I end up tuning out EVERYTHING. I just listen to my music, my body, focus on my foot landing, and my breathing. Last night I was running and didn’t realize there was a guy in his Jeep until I was RIGHT NEXT TO HIM. Then I was like…holy crap!! LOL.

Since my goal is to COMPLETE Vegas, then it doesn’t matter my time. Even if I have to walk 20 times.  I will try to sign up this weekend after my long run. Don’t know how many miles that will be. That is up to my body. I’m just going to head out and run.

Had a good run. Ran up the street and back. I walked about 4-5 times about 10-15 steps. Knee only seemed to talk to me on uphills. Again I only looked at my watch after I ran.

Workout:

• Type: Run
• Date: 10/23/2008
• Time: 18:45:00
• Total Time: 00:40:24.00
• Distance: 3.52 miles
• Average Pace: 11:28.34/mile